Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
we're making bets on your personal life
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
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