at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I looked at my own cervix.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Randomize
