Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
