We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
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