Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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