She is in my trunk
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
