I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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