You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Randomize
