Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
