do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
