You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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