some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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