Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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