Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
