I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
