Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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