Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
