He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
