I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
