Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
