If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
