Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
