No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
