why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
