THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
We have so much sex to catch up on
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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