His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
