what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
