about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
