I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Randomize
