The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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