I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Randomize
