he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
