I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
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