dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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