I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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