: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
