How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize