after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
3 2 1 whiskey
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Randomize
