p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
