Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Randomize
