Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Randomize
