he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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