It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize