i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
