and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Randomize
