I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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