Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Randomize
