this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
