i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
