So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
well most of my day revolves around power hour
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
