I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
It's just like the Real World with babies
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
