I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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