And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
