i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Randomize
