She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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