she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
