I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
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